Little Mary Sue sat alone in the cafeteria. She pushed her thick braids back and peered over the rim of her glasses. She spotted Biff as he left with the cheerleaders. She loved him , but he didn’t know she existed. Mary Sue decided it was now or never: she would ask Biff to the girl’s choice dance.

She picked up her books and left the table. Her clunky heels echoed across the cafeteria as she strode from the room, her head high. Her stride slowed as doubt crept into her mind. “What am I doing? Biff will never go with me. He doesn’t even know I’m alive. I’m plain, my hair is frizzy, and I have too many freckles. Oh dear.

“But, daddy says I’m beautiful, and that boy in church likes me. I’m as pretty as any cheerleader. I’ve seen Biff looking at me and smiling. I’ll bet he does like me but is too shy to say anything.”

She reached her locker and saw Biff. She smiled. He smiled back. He raised his hand and waved. Mary Sue brightened with happiness and stepped from her locker.

They collided and Little Mary Sue’s books and papers flew from her hands and scattered through the air. “Christ! Why don’t you look where you’re going you ugly moron. Buy new glasses if you can’t see through those thick things.

“I’m sorry, Joanne. That dimwit, what’s her name, ran into me. Give me a kiss sweetie. Let’s get out of here.”