Literary Agent Pitch for Honey Ko

Dear lovely people,

What do you think? Does my pitch grab you by the lapels and make you shout, “OMG! I have to read this book NOW!” Let me know what you think.

“Dual timelines carry the reader on an emotional journey of love and betrayal, loss and discovery as two couples, threatened by forces of nature and war, find love while confronting weakness of the flesh, social stigma, and class-prejudice toward interracial love and marriage. The fight against an unfaithful lover’s anger and revenge, and the loss of a dear friend who gives his life to save another, brings four ordinary people together in an explosive climax of love, revelation, and joy.”

6 thoughts on “Literary Agent Pitch for Honey Ko

  1. I’m going to preface this with the fact that I have revised my query letter 4 different times and still have yet to get an agent to request a full, so I am by no means an authority. That being said, reading this paragraph has left me with more questions than answers as to the details of your plot. It sounds like a movie trailer, and the problem with that is that there is no footage in the background to give me a visual of what it is you’re describing. There are a lot of buzzwords/phrases in here (emotional journey, forces of nature and war, social stigma, explosive climax). All of those are great things to have in your story, but the reader needs a few specifics in order to wrap their mind around the picture you’re trying to paint. Otherwise it just becomes a string of fancy yet imageless words. All I really gathered about the actual plot is that there is an interracial couple fighting against all odds, and there is a friend who sacrificed his life. Somehow a war ties into all of this. Forbidden love and character sacrifice have been written about many times before, so we need you to tell us in your query what makes your version of it unique, and you do so by giving us more specifics. I hope this is helpful. Again, not an expert, just wanted to give you my honest impression.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate that. But one thing I have learned – and read on agent advice blogs – is that your pitch doesn’t have to completely relate to your story, it needs to make the reader want to ask for more information. If they ask for a synopsis or the full manuscript, I’ve made a successful pitch.


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