“Two dead women stand between Aida and marriage to Tom, the man of her dreams.”
Thank you to everyone who commented on my original pitch. This is my latest draft. Comments and suggestions welcome!
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Will, I read this and shake my head, two dead women and she still thinks he is the man of her dreams?
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Good point! Hmmm….
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I have a whole page of drafts I’m looking over. There is a pitch event at Savvy Authors 15-17 September. I plan to enter 🙂
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Ummm, two dead women? As in literally? And she loves him even though he killed two others?
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Haha 😊 No, his mother died giving birth to him. His fiancee died of pneumonia. Grief has clouded his judgment, making him unwilling to betray his fiancee’s memory.
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Okay, I think that has to come into play somehow. Otherwise I have images of the Walking Dead. 😉
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Tom falls in love with the woman of his dreams, then finds he must fight two dead women for Aida’s hand in marriage.
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Much better! Is he actually fighting dead women, or his unhealthy memories/allegiance to them? Still has a Walking Dead feel, but he might really be fighting their spirits that are literally haunting him.
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Yes! It’s the memory and the strong pull they exert on his heart that he has to fight. I’ve incorporated my Susanna essays and poems into the book where they serve as memories and internal dialogue for Tom and his father, Sam.
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Oooo, I like it just as it is, Will. Let the agent/editor/reader puzzle over how these women influence your hero. This one is perfect!
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